I have a hard shell, but a soft inside.

Yes, I love to smile. I always try to (fake a) smile even though I'm dying inside. I think this applies to a lot of people out there as well. It's true that faking a smile is much easier than having to explain to others why you are sad. But on the other hand, deep down inside our heart, we actually hope that someone would realize the true-self in us and concern about us. A girl's biggest lie is always "I'm fine" and you have no idea how much we wish that there would be someone who says, "I know you're not. Tell me, what's wrong?" 

When a girl cries, you must know that she has actually been holding in for a long time and couldn't take it any more that she explodes like a grenade eventually. Girls have hard times too. No matter how strong they seem to be, they always have a weakness - a weakness that will break them down into tiny pieces and it's gonna take a lot of time and effort to put those pieces back together.

I have a hard shell, but a soft inside. I seldom cry in front of my friends and family as I know crying wouldn't help much in any situation. But then, sometimes, all you could do is just ... cry. Sometimes, it feels like a release or relief to cry out loud and to let everything out through your teardrops. After crying, somehow I'll find a solution to that problem. Crying doesn't mean you're weak. It just shows that, after all, you're a human, you have feelings too. It kinda reminds you that even if you don't have anyone beside you, you still have yourself ... you can still cry.  Therefore, it's okay to cry. But, after crying, girls, pick up the broken pieces and stand up to face it all over again. This time you'll come off stronger than before, for sure.

***

"Crying is all right in its way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do." ― C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair

" ... you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit." ― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

"There you go...let it all slide out. Unhappiness can't stick in a person's soul when it's slick with tears." ― Shannon Hale, Princess Academy

TFiOS - The Fault in Our Stars

"The Fault in Our Stars - is poised to be the must-watch movie of the summer. The movie, based on John Green‘s wildly popular young-adult novel about two cancer-stricken teenagers who fall hopelessly in love with one another, is full of poignant quotes about true love (and loss) that have already resonated with millions of readers. 

Star-crossed protagonists Hazel and Augustus exchange hundreds of thoughtful lines that can reduce even the most stoic reader to a puddle of tears. So with these heartwrenchingly beautiful quotes from The Fault in Our Stars, we offer fair warning: even if you haven’t read the book, these quotes might require you to reach for the tissues. But they’re worth it." - Ashleigh Schmitz

***

I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once.

***

Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.

***

I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up.

***

It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.

***

It's a metaphor. See, you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do its killing.

***

That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.

***

The world is not a wish-granting factory.

***

Never too late to learn something new.

Yes. It's never too late to learn something new. Never underestimate your ability. Everyone is gifted with something that is so unique in them since the day they were born. We should learn to exert our undiscovered abilities and potentials. LET IT SHINE ... bright like a diamond (no pun intended lol). We'll never know if there's something special awaiting us ahead. Well ... never try never know. 

There's nothing as too late when it comes to learning. The world of knowledge has no boundaries. We should live our life every day discovering new things and make life more meaningful. Undoubtedly, it feels good to find out something you've never thought about. It kinda surprises you in a way. 

Changes can be seen when you try to do something that you've never done before. Eventually the result may be out of your expectation and surprises you. (Personally I love surprises, how about you?) I think it's good to let yourself expose to different situations and learn something new. Failure is okay as it is also a way of learning. We always learn from mistakes and make sure that we don't repeat them. This is a process of learning and growing up. There will never be a success if there's no failures. No one is perfect, so don't push yourself too hard as it will not bring benefits but bad consequences. 

What are the new things you can learn for now? It actually depends on your interest and desire. If you love music and you aspire to be a musician but you somehow have difficulty to realise your dream, you can learn some musical instruments such as guitar, violin and piano instead. Don't be afraid of failure or anything, just do whatever you want to and take your time. Things may turn out pretty well and you may succeed one day in spite of your age. There's only one thing you must not forget -- NEVER GIVE UP. 

Hectic life is back.

School started. This is just the second week and homework is piling up already! URGH.

SIGH. This is the second semester of STPM already and we're now in Upper Six. The new building sucks! We, Form 6 students, don't have a class of our own. WHAAAT. We're currently having classes in the Biology lab and sitting on those lab chairs for the entire day is so not comfortable. Hence, we got the plastic chairs from elsewhere to sit on but then, we got complains. Duhh. Teachers promise to let us switch our class to the music room or some other rooms starting from next week. AND we will be constantly switching "classrooms"! This is even sucker.

This year we have more projects to accomplish ... PA, Biology, Chemistry and Maths T. Besides, we are also sitting for MUET in the mid of this year. There is homework every day, prefects duty and not to forget to mention, sometimes I have to climb the stairs from the first floor to the EIGHTH FLOOR. Not kidding. The lifts are always packed with students in the morning after the assembly and during recess, so if I chose to wait for the lifts, I would be late for class, for sure.

I always hope I could go back to the old buildings, old times. Definitely missing my Form5's life.

"Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory."

I wish I could turn back time and enjoy the whole 2011 again, even if I had to sit for SPM once again. I swear I would cherish those moments with my friends MORE. :')

Dreams.

It's 3am in the middle of the night now. And I'm here typing, writing this post. I have one thing to confess ... I think I've changed. Not sure in a good or a bad way though. 

I realize that I've changed. The way I think has changed. I've started not to care so much about the things around me. This is NOT GOOD. I'm not the one I was anymore ... and I'm not sure if I should be happy about this. I'm not that good at expressing myself anymore ... I tend to keep things to myself and be happy in front of everyone, making fake smiles. But deep down inside, I know, I'm not happy. To be precise, not satisfied.

It's not that something has happened that I'm upset. It's just that I feel like I'm not achieving anything lately. I've lost the feeling of satisfaction of succeeding in something. I can't wait for school to reopen so that I can start doing something again and I won't be feeling like I'm wasting every single second of every day. I need that feeling back. I want to feel like a useful person again.

And, truthfully, I hope I will soon achieve my dream.

"Dreams don't work unless you do."

Understanding.

"You'll never understand until it happens to you ... "

What I want to say is, nowadays, some of the people tend to spread around things they hear or they know without even trying to understand what really happened. They like to gossip and talk bad about others behind their backs as they find it entertaining. However, I personally don't think it's a right thing to do. Definitely not. 

This is hurtful to the people they talk or gossip about. Why don’t they think about it in another perspective? What if they’re the ones who were being talked about? Would they be happy about it? I’m pretty sure that feeling must be awful. 

Hence, these people should start to think and care about others, to care about other people’s feelings. Treat others the way we want them to treat us. Try to understand them when something happened but not to spread the bad news around. If you tried to fit in their shoes, you would unfold something extraordinary or you might begin to have different perspective on life. You’ll gain a lot, indeed. On the other hand, hurting others would give you nothing. Think before you take any actions because what you do might influence others and there will be no turning back.

That's one of the reasons suicide rate is increasing drastically every year. More and more people committed suicide because of bullying. And spreading around fake and false infos is one of the acts of bullying. We should increase youngsters' awareness in this case and give them some lessons so that they know how to appreciate the people around them. First of all ... make sure you're not one of them. 

LIVE LIFE WITH NO REGRETS.

Imperfections.

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question." - Harun Yahya

This place isnt bad after all when you realize there's actually a number of TRUE friends around you whom you can really rely on. Nothing is perfect, including life. Life has ups and downs. Sometimes, unfortunately, we would meet some realistic and unreasonable people in our life. They are gonna judge you no matter what you do or say. What to do when this kind of people come into your life? In my opinion, just hold your head up high and don't give a single damn about whatever they do. You don't need them in your life and one day, they are gonna leave anyway. It's not worthy at all to get mad at them and hate them. All you have to do is just pretending that they don't even exist at all. Besides, someone said this to me today - "Imperfections are things that make you special." No one is perfect. Therefore, every single person in this world is special! So, we gotta learn to forgive and forget these people's "specialities" and their imperfections. After all, they are also human right? hahaha, why am I being so serious in this post? Anyway, this is just my opinion and thanks for reading. :) Oh btw, I truly believe in karma. ;)

Feeling so good after composing this post. :P

Emotional

I'm composing this post in a very bad mood. Somehow I just don't know why, I get emotional very often recently. Just a little thing could trigger my feelings easily. And this sucks! Who actually wants to be sad and emo all the time? Of course, I had joyful moments as well. But then, I didnt use to be like this in the past. Lately, I would get emo for at least one day per week! ... and it's getting worse. I wanted to find something to distract myself from this terrible feeling but I just failed to. I was lost ...

Trying to stay positive was the only way I could do. And ohya, MUSIC, it's the best medication ever! It had a superpower that lightened my mood up in just a few minutes. amazing isn't it? That's why I can't go a day without music. :)

Back to the topic, I hope I will soon find a way to solve this problem. I don't wanna be like this anymore!! Being upset sucks to the max. I usually try to keep it to myself because I don't wanna upset the people who care about me, including my friends. But you know, we're humans, we need some concerns too sometimes. 

 Sadness flies away on the wings of time.  -Jean de La Fontaine

Wish you were here. 

Typographies.

These are the typographies I have reblogged today. And I find them quite meaningful. Just wanna share them with all of you. :)

That's all. Hee. :)

Better life ahead.

If you are brave enough to say GOODBYE,
life will reward you with a new HELLO.

I aint pissed. And I aint even sad either. How surprising is that? haha. I heard something and I felt sorry for you. Wow, you give everyone such a 'good' impression. Keep it up, dude. ;) kbye nothing much to say.


P.S. No offense. Wait, did I even mention who I'm talking about? No, right? So yeah.

Paid off.

OHHH MY BLOG IS SO DEAD. LOL

Okay, update update.

Sports day was just over. It's my final year to attend sports day and I have no regrets! I joined yellow house's marching team and guess what, we got the second place! WHOA Really really satisfied :D Thanks to all the members for making it real! Thanks for turning up in all the trainings. Although we did some mistakes on that day, we still managed to gain applause from the spectators. That's more than enough! teehee. Besides, yellow house's cheerleaders won the first place!! We were so happy for them, seriously. ;) And overall, yellow house won the second place. Proud of YELLOW HOUSE man! :DD

One thing I must not forget to mention is, the scouts and athletes were so impressive! *.* Agreed by so many of them. Congratulations to scouts for getting the first place in marching :D girls guide did a great job too! The day was superbbbbb.

Yeahh, finally it ended. Need not stay back for trainings anymore and I can now concentrate on my studies. SPM! *stressful*

P.S. Now I'm looking for people to attend Cheer '11 with meeeee! (waiting for some replies)

Alright. I think that's all. Gonna update again soon. :)

Sometimes you try your hardest but things just don't work out the way you want them to. THIS IS LIFE.

I love you, tumblr!

These are the words I found on tumblr. They are very very meaningful ... to me.

-

-

You know you're in love when you're having the worst day, and just talking to him makes everything better.

-

-

I'm not saying I don't want you, because believe me I do. It's just that, I'm not going to chase after you.

-

-

To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back.

* Please don't link these words to anyone. And please don't get me wrong that I'm having hard times now. In fact, I'm not. :)

I'll back off.

Letting go isn't about giving up. It's just accepting that something can never happen.

Nothing is guaranteed.

The truth is, you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow.

Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.

HCNY!

Happy Chinese New Year !! <3

***

Happiness is not a possesion to be prized, it is a quality of thought, a state of mind.

As Long As I'm Happy

You give me hope again ...

And, I'm speechless.

I still cant make up my mind for any decision yet.

But anyway, I'm happy right now. I really am. :)

I need to thank some people for their awesome-ness.

They gave me great advices and I really appreciate it.

Thanks a lot.

Somehow, this post seems so awkward.

"Some people say the worst way to miss someone is when they are right next to you and you know you can't have them. But it's worse when you thought you didn't want them anymore, and then all of a sudden you realize you can't live without them."

Amazement



All you need is SMILE.

Something strange happened last night. My mom was listening to Lite fm on the radio. Meanwhile, I was randomly looking at Justin Bieber's Pray's lyrics. So, I asked my mom to change the radio station to Hitz. fm. (Hoping that I could listen to that song later.) And guess what? Hitz. fm was playing the exact song at the exact time! Yea, it's PRAY! It was so unbelievable and ... amazing? haha  I was like OMG OMG OMG until the song ended.

ZOMG. You wouldn't believe it until it happens to you!

***

My sis was so funny. She went to youtube and searched for the theme songs of every football club. And, we smiled simultaneously when we heard one of them. :D She even kept replaying  that song. LOL

Lately, I'm watching Just Love II (a hongkong drama). From today onwards, I have to stick to the tv from 9.30pm to 10.30pm. Just to watch the Beyond The Realm of Conscience. The first episode was very touching already. I'm looking forward to the upcoming episodes!

***

Boy : ABC

Girl : Huh?!

Boy : Always Be Careful

Girl : ahh. And then?

Boy : DEFG

Girl : What?

Boy : Don’t Ever Forget Girl

Girl : Forget what?

Boy : I’m H,I.

Girl : Huh?

Boy : Happily Inlove.

Girl : So?

Boy : JKLM

Girl : And what is that supposed to mean?

Boy : Just Keep Loving Me.

Girl : So how about? NOPQRSTUVWXYZ?

Boy : (stop and think)

Boy : No Other Person Quite Reasonable Shall Treat U Very Well Xceptme, You’ll Zee!

The person who came up with this is a freaking GENIUS !

"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. This is LIFE". -Tumblr

WTF!

  I'm lost.
 

This morning was a disaster to me! I got a feeling that I've never had before. I had 4 dreams consecutively and they were all directly relevant. 'Cause they were all about the same person! 3 of them were good ones and of course, another one was not so good. After waking up from that 3 good dreams, I kept blaming that why they're just dreams! Lol But after the bad one, I thought that luckily it was just a dream. hahaha They were so real ! So damn freaking real !! After that, I really couldn't sleep no more. I was afraid that there would be a second bad dream. So I quickly texted KarYee and told her everything. I really needed someone to spill everything out at that moment. 

PHEW. Felt better after that. 

I totally have no idea what's wrong with my mind. I think I'm going insane soooon! Please stop these dreams, please!!

   

A girl won't feel anything special from the sweetest efforts of a guy she doesn't like. But the simplest gesture of affection shown by the guy she likes would cause butterflies in her stomach. - Tumblr

 

Just A Dream

" Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes, yeah, it was only just a dream." 
Just a dream - Nelly

 

I keep having odd nightmares these days. Dreams or nightmares? I'm not so sure anymore. What I'm sure about, however, is that they are indirectly relevant. They just made me stay conscious for the whole night and keep casting back what the dreams were really about. The memories were kinda blurry though.

Am I going to have the same dream (or nightmare) tonight?

***

On msn tonight. Chatted with two perasan guys and a lame guy. 

ChanYuetNam and LimTaoYang. They just couldn't stop praising themselves!

JosephChong. He couldn't stop saying my jokes are not funny and kept asking me to 'try harder next time'.

LOL!  -.-

JuniorKoh asked me to on but he himself was nowhere to be found. duhh Wait, ain't he busy studying for spm?  o.O

"Sometimes you just sit at home and remember the old times. You laugh by yourself with a ridiculous smile. Then you have that one tear runs down your cheek cause all of it changed." -Tumblr

I love my new blogskin ;)

Failure.

I always waste my time waiting for something that may never happen.

I do everything with hope. But why? It always ends up with disappoinment? Most of the things do not always fulfill my expectation. Damn. SeeSweeImn, stop dreaming about silly things! They are so not gonna happen. I realize something - whatever I've imagined will never happen. wth? OH WAIT.. There's an exception. :D

My mood was really down for the whole day. Everything seemed to be going really wrong. There're many reasons for that. Hmm. But then, these people lightened my mood up!

On Facebook : Vivian and KarYee

On MSN : KarYee . WenCai . SinLing . Joseph . Junior . Storm . YuanYang .

Thank You So Much !

My mood was like shooting up from the hell to the heaven. LOL! Especially when chatting in a group convo with wencai and joe. ;)

P/S : Sinling is also a fan of Taylor Swift's ! Yeepiee :D

***

Saw many cute things on Tumblr made me happy as well ! And mommy bought Dunkin' Donuts ! Yumm. Hehee. Thanks awesome people for making my day!

I think I've got influenced by Tumblr. Whenever I'm angry, I feel like scolding the F word.  :P